Charming someone and convincing them to relentlessly bash their face into a rock is not considered a crime. It is also a common leisure-time activity for the Dark Brotherhood.

Joke and fake loading screens and screenshots from The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, run by @ChrisOfTheDead.
General links and the actual Oblivion mod made from these jokes in my Carrd page:
Charming someone and convincing them to relentlessly bash their face into a rock is not considered a crime. It is also a common leisure-time activity for the Dark Brotherhood.
Someone with a high Strength attribute would be perfect for helping you move that couch.
"And if you sleep with, or eat out of, my bucket again I’m going to slap you with a mudcrab!"
A master of Alchemy could drink you under the table.